Saints

I did something I, um, almost never do today.
I prayed to a saint.  I asked a companion on this faith journey for some help.  I guess I am trying this saint thing out.  I blame it on James Martin SJ.  but I was very agitated about a work situation from Friday and I was walking up the hill to face probably certain death.  or at least a little doom as I had requested a meeting with my boss.

And do you ever get that way, where you are dreading something with each step you take?  Each step you take is closer and closer to having to listen to someone say you are wrong, when you know there is a possibility that you are right.
Each step takes you closer and closer and you find yourself rehearsing what you are going to say, getting more and more heated as you realize that yourself is more argumentative than your competition in a few moments will be.

I found myself huffing and puffing up the hill to work today because my arguments were getting more and more heated until I got to the corner to cross the street and realized that, duh, my boss and I are on the same side.  We are both trying to do what is best for our students at the school.  And I just am agitated because I was in the situation, and he was ignorant about it.
Did that calm me down and make it easier to approach the school?  HECK NO! it made me more angry that he was oblivious to a problem that had caused me much frustration.

and i realized i had a hard time calming down.  So i breathed in trying to calm myself. and i did by praying.  and i cast around in my head who might be appropriate to pray for and i landed on Dorothy Day.  let's face it she was definiteley a woman who had to swallow her pride, and anger, and agitated outspoken-ness.  ansometimes she didn't swallow it.  I asked her to be with me to calm me so that i could be understood. so that my emotions wouldn't get in the way of my message, and to help me reconfirm that i was indeed concerned with the students' wellbeing.
I had a really great conversation with my boss because i was willing to let go of those emotions and remember my real purpose.  well i was willing to let go, and i was willing to call God into my situation.
Thank you for reading today, may we all be full of God's grace to continue to be available to our sisters and brothers.